Accepting Me

I have not been liking myself for awhile. 

Why? 

Because I’ve gained weight. 

Seems quite ridiculous to not like ourselves because of a change in our size or shape doesn’t it?  But how many of us do it… every day?  For the last two and a half years, I have been learning so much stuff about who I am, how I see the world, and those around me, how emotional energy stored in the body can create all sorts of things and how just looking at things differently can heal us.  There have been a LOT of tears, a LOT of shifts in perception, a LOT of personal transformation.  I’ll be honest, it doesn’t always feel good figuring this crap out!  Some piles are friggin HUGE and take a lot of digging to get to the bottom.  And just when I feel like I’m there, another layer magically appears.  I’ll tell you what tho… I’d never go back… I’d never go back to that person that I was before I started learning and healing.  As much as I’ve struggled to figure my stuff out, I’ve uncovered so much goodness and beauty that every second of struggle has been more than worth it!  The tools that I have in my tool belt are more plentiful, and easily obtained.  The new neural pathways that I’m developing are becoming bigger and wider and more easily traveled.  So how do I still end up in situations of conflict with myself?  Well cause I’m a human being, and two and a half years doing this work isn’t that long considering I’ve been on this planet just about 52 years.  That’s a lot of different piles to dig thru! 

 I used to eat because I was tired, now it is for self- soothing.  The question is, can I cut myself a break?  The other day I put on a pair of hiking pants that were not super comfortable before I gained the extra 15 lbs.  What was I thinking?  They felt horrible!  I looked at myself in the mirror and said horrible awful things to myself about myself.  I felt disgust and was repulsed by how I looked and felt.  Would I ever say those things to another human being?  NO!  Would I ever even think those things about another human being because they their size changed?  Gawd NO!  So why do you think, it is acceptable to say these things to ourselves?

It sure as heck didn’t make me feel any better!  Thing is, I’ve been doing that for years.  Would I say it’s a habit to beat myself up because of my judgement of myself?  Ohhhhhhh yah…. I’d say there is a pretty big neural pathway there.  Thing is, I had to do all of that, say all of that, to get me to this point right now.  RIGHT NOW… I can choose to look at things differently. 

 RIGHT NOW, I can choose to ACCEPT ME for who and what I am.  In choosing to give myself a break, I can let go of all the negative energy BS and just choose to look at things differently!  

I AM CHOOSING to accept that this is just another piece of my learning… and its OKAY!

I AM CHOOSING to create a new neural pathway that says I AM ENOUGH RIGHT NOW!

I AM CHOOSING TO LOVE AND ACCEPT MYSELF in this journey RIGHT NOW!

Can you… choose to love and accept YOURSELF… right now… exactly the way YOU are?